A farmer put this sign in front of his watermelon patch:
ONE WATERMELON IN THIS PATCH HAS BEEN POISONED
The next morning the sign had been changed to read:
THREE WATERMELONS IN THIS PATCH HAVE BEEN POISONED
***
A patient was brought to a psychiatrist by friends, who informed the doctor that the man was suffering from delusions that a huge fortune was awaiting him. He was expecting two letters which would give him details involving deeds to a rubber plantation in Sumatra and titles to some mines in South America.
"It was a difficult case and I worked hard on it, " the psychiatrist told some colleagues. "And just when I had the man cured - the two letters arrived!"
***
Tourist: a man who travels to see things that are different and then complains when they aren't the same
***
Linguist: a man who masters every tongue but his wife's.
***
A little girl of six once asked her mother why she must do as she was told. her mother, rather bewildered as to what reply to give, said: "When I was a little girl I had to do what my mother told me, and when grandmother was a little girl she had to do what her mother told her. " to which the child replied, "Hm, I wonder who started that silly game."
***
My dog knows math
ONE WATERMELON IN THIS PATCH HAS BEEN POISONED
The next morning the sign had been changed to read:
THREE WATERMELONS IN THIS PATCH HAVE BEEN POISONED
***
A patient was brought to a psychiatrist by friends, who informed the doctor that the man was suffering from delusions that a huge fortune was awaiting him. He was expecting two letters which would give him details involving deeds to a rubber plantation in Sumatra and titles to some mines in South America.
"It was a difficult case and I worked hard on it, " the psychiatrist told some colleagues. "And just when I had the man cured - the two letters arrived!"
***
Tourist: a man who travels to see things that are different and then complains when they aren't the same
***
Linguist: a man who masters every tongue but his wife's.
***
A little girl of six once asked her mother why she must do as she was told. her mother, rather bewildered as to what reply to give, said: "When I was a little girl I had to do what my mother told me, and when grandmother was a little girl she had to do what her mother told her. " to which the child replied, "Hm, I wonder who started that silly game."
***
My dog knows math
He does???
Yes, when I ask him what 10 minus 10, he says nothing.
***
Teacher: Can you define classical music???
Student: Anything without an electric guitar...
***
Can you name all the States???
State of confusion, State of shock...
***
***
Teacher: Can you define classical music???
Student: Anything without an electric guitar...
***
Can you name all the States???
State of confusion, State of shock...
***
